The End

I have heard my sensei ask the class on more than one occasion "who wants to earn their black belt?". Everyone in the class raises their hand but me. Truth be told I really have no interest in earning my black belt. I am enjoying the journey far too much.

I honestly believe that my heart and soul are already of 'black belt' quality. This goes beyond being a 'good person'. When faced with situations I have always chosen to take the 'high road' and be respectful, even when respect has not been granted to me. I have risen to many challenges and surpassed these obstacles. I have learned that I am the only person that I can count on and I have the ability to CHOOSE how I deal with anything life hands me.

It is this inner core value that has brought me to this difficult decision - to stop writing. When I started writing over a year ago it was to grieve, heal and forgive. Although my journey has not completely ended, this piece of it has.

While I was focused on my own well being and recovery I was not always aware of those around me, but with self awareness comes clarity. With this new clarity I see my children have begun to realize their own loss over the family situation and have started grieving. Thankfully I am now a more confident, self-assured person and I know I will have no problems supporting my children through their own grieving periods.

The reason I am choosing not to write is out of respect for my children. Writing about my own fears, hope & dreams, strengths & weaknesses is one thing, but writing about my fears regarding my children is a different story.

I would like to thank all my readers for their support. I have had so many emails from readers from all over the world! Some memorable emails have come from New Zealand, Japan, and Argentina. As well as family and friends in Canada and the US. I have appreciated everyone's comments, concerns and especially critiques. I thank each and every one of you!

I will continue to journal when I feel the need - and who knows - perhaps I will be back before you even realize I was gone. Until then I CHOOSE to be useful.

~May your love never end and if you need a friend there's a seat here along side me - Linkin Park

Peace