Hey You Kids Get Out of That Jello Tree!

Originally posted July 6, 2011 on Facebook.

Like 49% of married Canadians I woke up one morning to find myself divorced. Being in my 40s I was now faced with the unique opportunity to find myself. So I asked myself, “Self what do you like?” I haven’t been “me” for over 25 years! The last time I was “me” it was the mid-80s and I was big on Platinum Blonde. Now I did consider becoming a groupie, but sadly when I checked to see if they were still around I discovered that one of the band members recently passed away.

It’s funny that one can so easily lose themselves in a relationship, family and work. The first thing I did while trying to heal myself was to join a hiking group. I have always loved nature and figured hiking would be a great way to be outdoors, active and meet new people. After the 3rd meet up, I realized that I really don’t like hiking. Everyone goes ‘way too fast’ like it’s some kind of freaking race and if you aren’t the first one to the top of the hill/waterfall/path you are a reject. On top of that I certainly wasn’t meeting anyone because I was walking so fast that I was out of breath. Even if I could carry on a conversation there was no time to talk. Never mind stopping to take a picture or see wildlife – I stopped to take a picture of a trillium and the entire group was gone! I want to enjoy the scenery, stop and smell the roses (or take a picture of a trillium), look at the snake in the bushes, listen to the water flowing and be able to tie my bootlace if I need to! So I came to realize that I don’t like hiking. Sometimes it is easier to identify what you don’t like rather than what you do like.

Realizing that I would be better off in a “leisure stroll through the woods” group I joined a photography group. JACKPOT! Now this is something that I like! This is something I had forgotten I not only enjoy, but I REALLY LOVE! When I am out with the group taking pictures I am at peace. Everything around me disappears and I am at one with my subject. I have not only met several very nice people, but I am learning tons of stuff about digital photography.  I have even achieved the status of having a cool nickname – “the girl”.

One thing I do know about myself is that I love to learn and when I am not learning I am not happy – I think I drove my parents nuts because I kept going back to school.  So here I am learning yet again, but this time I am learning in a different way. I am learning to use my skills – for those of you that don’t know I write documentation for a living – to push myself out of my comfort zone. I am doing things that I normally would not do – like starting a blog – if you can call it that. Everyone may read these notes or no one may read these notes. I will continue to write notes similar to this one as I try to heal, grieve and forgive the recent events in my personal life. Bad things sometimes happen, but it is what we learn from these events that make us who we are.

Peace