Sunday, 23 June 2019

Let's Hear It for Rock Bottom

"In my perfect isolation I can stay here for a while. Antidotes and revelations just extend my own exile."

When I started blogging it was to help myself grieve after my divorce, heal and learn to enjoy my own company. On this journey I chose to share my challenges, roadblocks and mental break through moments.

There are a few times where I expressed my inability to blog. Most of the time the reason I gave was that things were 'good'. I wondered if I was only able to blog when I faced challenges or roadblocks. Then I started writing for work - so I knew that this was not the case. I have not posted any blogs in a year. I have been writing them, I just never posted them for various reasons. 

Reflecting on the "Why" I believe that I never posted these blogs because they were not a part of my divorce/grieving/dating. They were about my journey into leading a team in the workplace. My revelations and learning of moving from a 'control freak of a manager' to a leader. I struggled with how these new blogs would tie into the old ones. How the posts would flow. In my mind they wouldn't.

Several months ago, someone dear to my heart told me something that hurt me to my very soul. They said that I needed to close the book and write a new one. In my usual stubbornness I dug in my heels and tried to stay with the same story. Guess what, I was wrong. This gave me an idea when it comes to my blogging. Perhaps it's time to move on here as well. Maybe not a new book, but a new chapter. Since my blogging has been about my life's journey, why not start writing the next chapter in the book?

The theme is the same - self-love, self-awareness, learning, growing, etc. but the topic around my challenges are a bit different and will change. Having found several blogs I have written during my managerial struggles I know I need to write to remove my roadblocks and find clarity. I find myself with yet another upset in my life, which in a lot of ways is very much like another divorce, so this is the end of this chapter. I hope you will enjoy the random thoughts and rambling of my next chapter - The Cozy Mystery Series.

Peace

"Wasting away the world's right in front of me. Funny you should say that it's all in my head. Wasting away we're hitting rock bottom. And going down in flames, well it's not that bad." ~ The Offspring