Master & Servant

I have been spending a great deal of time in waiting rooms over the last few months. Many different magazines are common place in most waiting rooms. The other day an article title on the cover of Men's Health caught my eye. The article was about an intense 10 minute muscle building work out that I really want to try, but I digress...the smaller, less noticeable title beside it was Will She Sleep with You? Find Out!

I know, curiosity killed the cat, but who could resist the temptation. I quickly thumbed to page 52 and was slightly disappointed. There was no article per se, rather a simple flow chart. The flow chart began with meeting the woman for a FIRST date. There were 4 simple yes/ no questions and paths to follow that left me giggling out loud in a waiting room full of people. The flow chart was written by a woman. The contributing expert was a male PhD in Non-Verbal Studies.

Four simple signs to easily and quickly tell if your date will sleep with you on the FIRST DATE. Hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen for I am going to reveal the great secret.

1. If she doesn't chat with you while eating her dinner - you ain't gettin' any.
2. If she doesn't go to the wash room while on the date - sorry about your luck.
3. If she goes to the wash room and does not apply lipstick - best pay the bill and head out.
4. Upon 'wrapping' up the evening if she doesn't grab your leg or stroke your hair - WTF???

The best part was the last BONUS step. If all the above answers were NO - ask her to sleep with you anyway! Apparently 50% of women will forgive a man who is too forward. Hmmm, I guess 50% is better than ZERO! As I sat there shaking my head and feeling bad for every man who read this flow chart and took it as gospel I noticed a tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the page. The font was so small I had to take my glasses off to read it.

The disclaimer stated that 90% of women need at least 3 dates to decide if they want to sleep with a man. NOW I KNOW WHERE THE 3rd DATE RULE CAME FROM!!!! I knew there had to be some reason practically EVERY man I have met expected me to spread em' on the 3rd date! Now correct me if I am wrong but deciding to sleep with a man and sleeping with a man are 2 very different things!

While nothing I read in this article came as a great surprise to me I was slightly disappointed to see that a woman wrote the article. It was a bit disheartening to realize that there are women who perpetuate such garbage. No wonder men have a hard time understanding women - women don't even understand other women.

"I got your back Jack. Bitches be crazy" ~ Sheldon Cooper

Peace