Baby You're A Firework!

I need to celebrate my accomplishments. I have been crying and down ever since I started climbing this f*@king cliff! I have a fear of heights - but I think it's time to stop and look down to see how far I have truly climbed.

Over the last year I have purchased my own home. Supported my children - both financially and emotionally through a family crisis. I got divorced. I went back to school and received my Associate Certificate in Business Analysis. I lost 60lbs - well that was over 2 years but I am damn proud of it!

I am learning to put me first. I am getting better at asking for help. I am learning to say 'no' - which I am sure is pissing some people off, but I am doing what is 'right' for me. I don't tolerate disrespect. I am learning what I need as opposed to what I want.

I am trying new things, meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends. I am visiting places I have always wanted to go. I am starting to live life rather than sitting on the sidelines watching it pass me by.

These things may seem trivial to anyone reading this, but to me these are major milestones. I have spent 24 years of my life 'de-selfing'. I changed/lost/refocused all of my own interested into those of my ex-husband's.

I have spent the last year learning who I am. Learning what I like, what I want, what I can do and most importantly to love me for who I am. Sometimes I have fallen off the path and gone back to the 'old ways' because they are are familiar, safe and comfortable, but every time I slip I learn what caused me to falter.

I think perhaps the thing that I am most proud of accomplishing is my own self awareness. I know when I have been pushed too far - either by myself or others. I also know when I am on the verge of falling down the rabbit hole - and I reach out for help.

I may not be able to control the stress in my life, but I can control how I cope with it. And even though I am still learning everyday how to better handle my stress, this is the one thing I am most proud of!

Peace