Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Paper Cut

The other day I read a saying on someone's Facebook page. It was "If you don't like the path your life is taking, change it". Well, I know that this is something I have been preaching, but I am here to say that this is easier said than done!

Right now the only constant in my life is change, but I have quickly learned that there are different types of change - change I can control and change I can't control. The majority of the changes I face right now are out of my control.

I find it very disheartening when I put so much time and effort into changing certain aspects of my life only to be met with resistance. Many people who have known me 'forever' refuse to believe or acknowledge that I have changed. They are convinced I am 'acting', or 'kidding myself' that I am different, or they just don't take anything I say seriously.
It is this resistance to change that frustrates me the most. Change is a 2-way street. If others are not willing to accept that you have changed or see you in a different light is this an indication that it is time to move on? Is it possible I have outgrown these 'friends'?

I have given up the fantasy that I can change others. I know all I can do is change myself. Does my new self awareness and focus intimidate those around me? Do my 'friends' prefer me to be a weak, vulnerable, dependent individual?

I am at a loss here. All I am trying to do is be a better person, but sometimes I feel like it is all in vain. Some may argue that there was nothing wrong with the 'old' me, but I disagree. None of us is perfect, we can all improve and learn from our mistakes, and that is all I am trying to do, but it feels like all I have accomplished is to 'piss' people off.

I knew this last leg of my journey would be difficult, but I honestly underestimated how difficult it would truly be.



  1. Sending big hugs ....
    Luv, cousin S

  2. One must be all one to be to be one to others.

    wow that's deep.Self selfless selfish.When the dust settles your left with the broom.
    Keep on growing.The Lady of the Blue Smoke!