Recently Child #2 had to perform a video rant for school. My first reaction was dread. Is there not enough negativity in the world? Do we really need to teach our children how to 'rant' about things in life they are not happy about? I don't know about you but as far as I am concerned I already have more than enough drama in my life - why introduce more? After watching the Child's rant video, which was about our very long cold snowy winter, I thought a rant might be just what I need.
As you know I started to look at my own behaviours around 'dating' to ensure that I was not totally 'out to lunch' and looking for a 'unicorn'. As you are all aware I seem to find men who are so afraid of commitment that they often can't even schedule a time and place to see me in person! Having returned to the world of electronic communications I seem to 'attract' only people who wish to text or sext. When I clearly state that I want to get to know them - they say 'I thought that's what we were doing'. So I started saying that I want to get to know them in person - which they take as an invitation for casual sex.
Was I not speaking English? How could my straightforward words be so misunderstood? So, you all know I started researching. While researching I found several newspaper and magazine articles regarding the problems with dating in the new millennium. One book kept 'popping up' in several articles - Guyland by Michael Kimmel Phd - which states that rule #1 to dating today is 'you can express no fears, no doubts, no vulnerabilities'. These dating rules have created what is being call the Whoever cares less WINS dynamic.
Women are being 'taught' to remain emotionally removed from the men that they are dating (sounds like the information I too have received). This has created a environment of men and women who are on the fence about meeting and dating. Add the pitfalls of texting to the mix and you have, well my disastrous dating life. In a world of emojicons it is easier to xo without opening your arms, to :* without touching lips and to <3 without getting your heart broken.
Sure caring less brings a sense of security. By never making yourself vulnerable you never get hurt. I know I am EXHAUSTED from playing the "whoever cares less wins' game! The whole 'casual dating' thing is far more draining on my emotional faculties and my time than being in a relationship. I am not embarrassed to want to be in a relationship!
As I have said many times - it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to NOT get emotionally involved. It would appear that my 'dating' issues are that I am ahead of my time or too old fashioned. Either way, I shall continue to be true to myself. I am done playing the 'whoever cares less' game and if you want a 'date-ish' with me you can take your >:) <3 :* xo emojicons and shove them up your a$$!
"Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage" ~ The Smashing Pumpkins
Peace
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