Somebody That I Used to Know

Wow! It's been 3 months since I have written anything. Today I had an overwhelming urge to get something down on paper. My "trigger" - nostalgia.

My kids found my grade 9 year book. With the high school "closing" there has been many "remember when" events going on around town and I guess curiosity got the better of them. Leafing through the pages the kids recognized many of the parents of their friend - people I never knew in high school. This activity started my reminiscing.

You see, today would have been my 18 year wedding anniversary. Oddly enough just 2 days ago some co-workers were reminding me how much fun my wedding had been and how their husbands had to 'drag' them home that night. The conversation was full of laughter; however, it ended rather abruptly when one person said "what a mistake that was eh?" and another quickly defended me and said "well we all make mistakes".

I think it was these comments that floated around in my head, mixed with the flash backs to 1984, that spurred my urge to write. Thing is, I don't see my marriage as a mistake. I do not regret anything. I have been fortunate enough to have had love in my life - yes I still believe that there was a time when we both really did love each other. I have more good memories than bad memories and 2 wonderful (most of the time) children. Also, had I never gotten married I would not be the person I am today. Sure I would still be great, but I would not be FANTASTIC!

All kidding aside, I have to say that I am glad that my ex-husband is not just 'somebody that I used to know'. I am thankful that he is still a part of my life, albeit a smaller part, but a part nonetheless. I know that I will always love him on some level, regardless of whether he feels the same, and this thought brings me peace and happiness.

My marriage was not a mistake, it was a choice. My choice lead me down a path. That path had joy and sadness, excitement and heartbreak, sunshine and rain but most of the time I walked around in a fog. If it were not for my marriage and my ex-husband I am not sure that I ever would have realized that I was missing so much in my life - living in a fog. The end of my marriage forced me to put myself first - something I had never done before. It caused me to stand up for myself and stop living my life for "others". It allowed me to open my eyes and take a good hard look at who I was and who I wanted to be - my marriage allowed me to grow and become who I am now.

In my books, being an independent, strong, healthy person is not a mistake, it is a happy ending.

Peace