A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Zoo

The other day I was driving. The sun was shining, the music was playing and I was heading out for a hike/photo opportunity. Not only was I happy and excited but I was radiating warmth. It was like I had been exposed to a nuclear reactor.


That was when it hit me. I have been worried about my spirit/soul being shattered and replaced by lead and ending up like a stained glass window. The thing about stained glass is that is sparkles much brighter than a plate glass window.


Like it or not the heart break, the grief and the challenges I have faced throughout my journey have made me a better person. Because I am changing/learning from my mistakes I am unwilling to settle, I force myself to find the positive in the most dire moments and I will not tolerate disrespect.

I have learned to appreciate the "little" things in life. To laugh at myself, to smile frequently, to be kind to strangers - overall to treat everyone the way I wish to be treated. Not rocket science by any means, but when life gets busy or stressful these are the first behaviours to disappear. Now that I understand this I frequently remind myself to practice what I preach when stressed.

I have also learned to zone in on what I want. Not specific items, but general concepts - like values and attitude. For the longest time I knew what I didn't like but had no idea what I wanted. You may believe that they are the same thing, but not knowing what you want is really a big deal. I have always known what I didn't like about myself, but once I started to change my behaviour I was unclear on how I would 'replace' the bad behaviours. This was so hard because I didn't know WHAT I wanted.


I needed to figure out my basic needs - or values. Once I started to identify my values 2 things became apparent to me. One, I had no behaviours/actions for some of my values. Two, and more importantly, I was violating some of my values. The BIG violation was my value for respect. I want respect from others, yet I don't respect myself. How on earth will anyone respect me if I don't respect me?


Now I have a "clearly defined work package" to focus on. CHANGE my BEHAVIOUR to RESPECT MYSELF. How do I intend to do this? I am going to start by "treating myself the way I treat others". I will let you know how this turns out.


Peace