You Haven't Got A Friend in Me

On my journey I have wandered aimlessly through the woods. Found myself disoriented in a mire. Passed through several clearings and partially scaled a cliff wall. Somewhere unbeknownst to me I crossed a bridge.

I am now learning that this bridge was not a normal bridge. Apparently once you cross this bridge you can never go back! I'm not sure when I crossed the bridge. There were no warning signs posted, no alerts, bells or whistles. The only reason I am even aware of the bridge is because I tried to go back.

A few times I have written about friends. Old friends, new friends, my friends, his friends, our friends and friends of friends. As I change and grow happier with each day I meet new friends. You would think that I would have oodles of friends, but strangely enough my 'circle of friends' is shrinking.

Why am I losing friends? My conclusion, we no longer have anything in common. These are very nice people who are great individuals but for various reasons we have grown apart. Some of these friends are "insert relation here" to my ex-husband. Others are just too negative for me to be around. And some I am sorely finding are trying to sabotage my progress. Many "old friends" struggle with what to say to me because they see me as a victim. But I am not a victim, I am a survivor!

My divorce has changed me. There is no way of denying this. I tend to be more sensitive to disrespectful "just kidding" sarcastic comments. I have a low to zero tolerance for comedies that demean women and promote adultery. I also try to steer clear of negativity, gossip and continuous "bitchers".

These changes are starting a chain reaction of something wonderful! Many people are beginning to see how happy I really am. Those who have known me "forever" are starting to see the "old, independent, confident me" that they once knew. I am singing more, laughing more and smiling more.

I know I should not be upset that I am losing friends who are not supportive of my journey, yet being who I am I still mourn their loss. Things will never be the same for me but I cannot go back to who I was before. To quote Dr. Seuss ~ "Today you are YOU. That is TRUER than true. There is NO ONE alive who is YOUER than YOU!" And I am finally becoming the person I always wanted to be - or perhaps I was always there, just scared to show my face.

Peace