Doin' the (Coo Coo) Pigeon

The other day a very good friend of mine told me that in reading my blogs they felt that I had it 'so together'. I laughed. I have been called crazy, off my rocker, nuts, out to lunch, a head case, insane, emotionally unstable, cold, withdrawn, and burrish but never 'so together'. Success!


All my hard work in changing my attitude, changing how I deal with things and changing what I will and will not accept was finally paying off. I was conveying my joy with another very good friend and this time I got laughter. WTF!


When I demanded an explanation it was simple. I have always been 'so together'. I have spent far too much time believing what a "few" people in my life have "pigeon holed" me as instead of choosing to believe what my best friends see in me.


I have based my image of myself on what a few people have told me. If I have learned one thing it is that most of the time people only give criticism and rarely give praise. So having mostly heard criticisms I have "believed" all of the things I have heard and tried to live up to these expectations.


I have to admit that now that I am seeing things clearer I rather enjoy being true to myself. Instead of 'believing' that I don't like people I can honestly say I quite enjoy people - in small groups. Instead of believing that I am cold and burrish I now recognize that I am factual and direct - so sometimes I need to stop and soften things up because not all people are as factual as me.


Another thing that I am realizing is that just because I don't stop to ask you 'how you are doing' does not make me insensitive or uncaring. In fact I am passionate to a flaw. I am often focused, driven and absorbed in my own thoughts. Sometimes I need you to 'burst' that bubble and bring me back to reality. And if you take the time to do so you will find that I am quite sincere, honest and caring.


Peace