The Inevitability of Death

Music! It drives a lot of my writing. It drives my moods. The avid music lover is well aware that many of my blog titles are the names of songs or lyrics from songs. I have to say that it is ALWAYS a welcome pleasure to meet someone who appreciates music more than I do!

For me my music choices are always changing. Sometimes I enjoy a song because of the lyrics, sometimes it is the rhythm, and other times it is simply the sound of the singer's voice or just one chord in the entire song.

I often associate music with events. Hearing a certain song can instantaneously return me to a specific moment in time. This can and has caused some grief for me. While in university I was a HUGE fan of Canada's own Tragically Hip. Over time I "sold" my ex-husband on the musical talent of the band. The Hip quickly became one of his favourite bands and their songs played a big part in OUR history together. When my ex-husband left the ONLY thing he took with him were all the Tragically Hip CDs.

Over the last few years I have intentionally avoided listening to any Hip. Any time a song played on the radio I would immediately change the channel. I was afraid of the wave of memories that would come back to me should I listen to the song. I had more than enough hurt and pain without 'choosing' to create more.

I was recently invited to a local Tragically Hip concert. I was excited to go as this was something that I had not done since my university days - but I had my reservations. In the end I did agree to go to the concert but was extremely worried. Would I burst into tears? Would I open up old wounds I thought had healed? I didn't know, but I had made the decision to face my fears and chose to stop running.

As I stood listening to Gord sing I was reminded of how much I truly enjoy the Hip! Hundreds of memories came flooding back and amazingly NONE of them hurt at all. My memories were of me and my ex in happier times and you know what - they made me smile! Perhaps now that I am in the forgiving phase of my journey the death of my heartache was inevitable.

Peace