I Want You

The down side to writing a blog is when you tell people you write a blog they want to read it. That in itself is not a problem; the problem lies in my fear that I might upset someone. I am not sure why I would upset someone because I generally write only about how things affect ME or how I am dealing with things - but I still worry.

I have recently been asked, through various channels, to write blogs on specific topics. I am not sure if this is something I am capable of doing. I usually write about what is going on in my life and the lessons I have learned or need to learn. I do not claim that any of my activities will work for others - they are specific to me. In addition, the majority of the blogging requests have been for me to write about my dating experiences. Problem is - I'm not dating.

So, reading TOO MUCH into things - as I tend to do - I decided to Google the definition of dating. The most common definition is ~ "Dating is essentially getting to know someone over an extended period of time". Well now, that sounds a lot like friendship to me - so to clarify for the purpose of this blog - in MY WORLD "dating" is the same as the definition above WITH the prospect or potential of sex. Friendship on the other hand means NO SEX EVER! (Yes I am aware of the onslaught of messages I am about to receive - bring it).

When I made the decision to stop online dating and go out into the world and make 'real' friends you know what happened? I quickly made many friends - male and female. This has been nice for many reasons. At this stage in my journey friendship is a great starting point. Even though I do believe I am ready to date, I am not sure that I am ready for a relationship - but I am also a person who endorses commitment - so I am in a bit of a tough spot.

I am fully aware that my issue is in part due to my analyzing trait. I have a problem "dating" multiple people at the same time. I understand the concept of dating multiple people, but I still have a hard time having the 'intention' of a physical relationship with multiple people.

So, once again I will be relying on the advice and direction of my friends to help me face my fears. How will I do this? Well, first I am going to stop worrying about the 'physical' aspects until the need should arise (no pun intended). With the physical intentions out of the way I am hoping I can start "getting to know" multiple people. 

Perhaps I need a "Dating for Dummies" book or a "Socializing with the Male Gender" class. My friends tell me that I will know when things are right and to stop ANALYZING! You know what? I know JACK! If I knew anything do you really think I would be writing about this? Well, yes that was the fear talking - but I am learning - which is all I can hope for. I know I will somehow manage to "muddle" my way through this new territory. I also know that I will attract someone who is willing to be patient with me and be understanding of my issues. Those that I meet who are not as understanding will not be worth keeping in my life. I CHOOSE!

Peace