Mrs. Robinson

As I return to the world of dating - or rather "getting to know" men - I felt it would be in my best interest to review my list of needs. When emotions are involved it is far too easy to get wants and needs mixed up. After pulling out my list (you know I had one!) I was glad to see that my needs had only changed slightly over the last couple of years.

When it comes to relationships everyone has different needs. I believe that it is important to identify my needs because I have learned that when my needs are not being met I tend to get angry and resentful towards the other person. Looking back I am not sure that I EVER KNEW what I needed! No wonder my marriage failed - all I knew was that I was not happy. How could anyone help me if I didn't even know what the problem was? 

One of the hardest things I have found to do as a adult is to make friends. Now I am not talking about acquaintances, I am talking about true friends - you know the ones that either bail you out of jail without asking a single question or are in jail with you!

As people age they wear more and more 'masks' never revealing their 'true self'. I find that people generally adapt to their surroundings by wearing various 'masks' - which I find makes it difficult for me to make friends.

The reason I struggle with this endeavor is that I have realized that my "mating" needs are the same as my "friendship" needs with the exception of sex. Interesting! It's no wonder I am struggling with understanding the difference between friendship and dating.

I have never really analyzed my friendships before, but now that I  understand what I need in a 'relationship' regardless of the type I understand why I have so many different friendships. Also, I can now clearly see why I have so few very close friends - these are the people that meet all my 4 needs - not 5 needs - remember no sex EVER with friends!

Peace