My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark

I believe in giving credit where credit is due. I have had an epiphany - yes, yet another one. The difference this time is that I can't take full credit for my revelation. Oddly enough I have Vampire Boy to thank.

I know, trust me; we all thought he was dead and gone. But it would appear that our "time together" had not yet finished - either that or a stake through the heart does not kill this type of vampire...which could be the case because I am not certain he even has a heart...but I digress.

It's funny how one can clearly see what others are doing wrong. How easy it is to find issues with other people and then give them advice on how to "fix" their problems. We are all guilty of this - and I was guilty of this with the vampire. His issues were blatantly apparent to me - but what about me? What were my issues? Why did I keep returning to this man even though I knew we could never have any type of relationship - romantic or otherwise? He is my polar opposite; we live in 2 different worlds and possess opposing core values.

Sure I could 'chalk it up' to loneliness, lust or simply the "need" to help a lost soul, but these would all be excuses. I kept returning to try to figure out what I needed to learn from this person so I would never make the same mistake again.

So, how does Vampire Boy get credit for me finally learning my lesson? Well after a recent "cry for help" from him, which contained far more drama and mixed messages than I care to relay, I was asked for my advice. So as requested I provided my thoughts on the situation and left him with some steps he could take to improve his situation should he choose to do so.

It was through helping him with his issues that I had my epiphany. All of this time I thought that I needed something, that I was looking for something that I was missing, but in reality I didn't need anything at all! In addition to this realization I also learned how quickly I become "too giving" and start losing myself. What I need to do is to adapt some of his 'I only do what's best for me' attitude.

So I have come full circle in my learning and for this I so grateful. I now know that my original thoughts and beliefs are what is RIGHT for me. I am who I am. I am happy with my core values and I know I am a good person. I am a loyal friend, I have a forgiving heart and I am a little broken but that's okay. 

Peace

"You are the antidote to everything except for me" ~ Fall Out Boy