Adrift in the T.A.R.D.I.S.

Once again I have nothing to say. I have 3 'pre-written' posts that need to be finished, but I am unable to finish them because I haven't learned a lesson. Perhaps this is the moral to my story - sometimes there is no lesson.

I feel like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory - I am in need of closure and since closure is not forthcoming I am analyzing everything trying to figure out its meaning. But as each day passes I let things go more and more - which is why I am unable to finish the posts that I started - because everything seems so ancient and surreal. I honestly don't care to figure things out any more.

I can't change anything. I can't change anyone. Did I compromise myself in any of these situations? No. Each situation was out of my control and I just found the positive in each situation and accepted the situations for what they were - life.

I am feeling a great deal of loss but to cope with that I am focusing on the good aspects rather than the loss itself. To help "cope" I did relocate, but I believe this is a positive choice for me. A chance to recharge my core. To enlighten my soul and to get back to the "real" me.

I love nature - always have, always will. I love being outside in any weather. I love animals, all kinds. I love water, still, running, or salty. When I am outside or even have a room with a view I am at peace. So I have played the "family card" and left to recharge my soul.

As I sit and write this, the sky is blue with not a single cloud. A loon floats on the lake, no longer laughing, but cautious as the cottagers begin to rise. As I sip my maple coffee, humming birds zig zag from the tree tops to the feeder over my head. The water is still and serene, the birds call and a gentle breeze blows through the tree tops and my hair.

I sit and reflect on the upcoming changes I am about to face and all the beauty and peacefulness that surrounds me speaks to me. It whispers "Don't be sad because it's over. Be glad because it happened." LOL! No Dr. Seuss is not speaking to me from beyond the grave, but his quote is so true for me. I am thankful! I have to be! Yes there is loss but prior to these losses there are so many good memories and positive events. This is what I need to remember and what I need to focus on, not the losses themselves.

Sure life will be different, but if life is always the same it sure would be boring. Who knows, perhaps these changes will make things better than they were before.

Peace