Thick as a Brick

In project management there is a technique that is used to obtain business requirements. It is called the iterative approach. Basically you keep asking the same questions over and over, different ways, until you get the 'true' need/ requirement. When I take the time to re-read my posts I notice that there are several posts that utilize this technique. I have now recognized that this is how I work through my issues.

Now, this may sound frustrating, but it works for me. I may not always 'get' something the first time. Or perhaps I 'get it' but I don't understand the reason behind it (the behaviour or the emotion) so I go 'round and round' trying to determine the root cause so I can change the behaviour or identify the emotion. Now that I am understanding my 'thinking' I am CHOOSING to use it for the greater good instead of evil!

My recent withdrawal from family and friends allowed me to perform some iterative introspection into my behaviours in relationships. It would seem that I had reverted to my 'old' behaviours, thinking patterns and loss of self. Fortunately I trusted my instincts and my gut. Then I used my thinking to analyse the situation and determine "why" my gut was telling me things were wrong. This technique allowed me to identify the issue before any serious damage was caused to my progress.

The issue seems so simple now, I compromised my needs. I mistakenly believed my happiness was the result of a person in my life. When that person left my life - so too did my happiness - or so I thought. The thing is, I was happy BEFORE I met this person. So why couldn't I be happy AFTER this person?

Silly eh? You see, sometimes I have to be hit in the head a few times before I 'get it'. The truth is I OWN my happiness - no one can ever take it away! My happiness comes from inside of me and it radiates out to the world. Sure, there are people around me who make my happiness 'glow' stronger and others who 'dull' my light but ultimately that happiness light is MINE!

Yes, I messed up big time but I am learning. I now understand why I won't settle for just any relationship - I would rather be on my own than to give up who I really am.

Peace