Peanuts

"Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly." ~ Morticia Addams

I received this inspirational quote from a high school friend and I have to say the timing was impeccable. It hasn't been easy 'sitting and living' with my overwhelming emotions and as hard as I try I sometimes start to "think". Lately I have been wondering what exactly is wrong with me - why am I not "normal"?

Through various avenues I have met many people on the same journey as me. Most of the ones I have continued to stay in touch with are all in happy, healthy relationships with some even getting married. While I am extremely happy for all my friends, I can't help but wonder...what's wrong with me? Some days I think that I was designed to mate for life - like a trumpeter swan or other birds. When their mate dies they remain on their own until they themselves die.

I know I am just different, and I cannot compare myself to anyone else because they are not me. Honey Boo Boo's mother may have a boyfriend, and not me, but I would rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't encourage me, challenge me or respect me.

Getting to know me is not an easy task. Those of you who do "know" me understand. Those who don't probably have a hard time believing this statement because I am so open in my blogs. Again, I choose what I write - it is all real but it is not all I am, just the tip of the iceberg.

People as a society are addicted to drama. "Real" life is boring, mundane and uneventful. I CRAVE a boring, mundane, uneventful life with a partner. Those of you who have this life live vicariously through my 'chaotic' life - and I am happy to oblige - but no matter how hard I try to enjoy my chaos all I really want is a boring, mundane, stable life.

The entertainment industry "brain washes" us into believing that "boring" is "bad". It's not a healthy relationship if there is no excitement, fireworks, or sparks. Yes, these things are nice but when you don't have respect, encouragement or support chemistry is USELESS in a relationship. Television shows, movies and novels build up the romantic tension between characters. When these characters finally come together as an item its fantastic - Prince Charming swoops in and saves the day. 

I would like to see these fantasy romantic relationships after years of marriage - heck even after 3 months! I seriously wonder how much 'spark' would be left.

Peace