Superman

As social beings, most of us feel the need for rewarding social contact and relationships. One common definition of loneliness is that it is the feeling we get when our need for social contact is not met.

Loneliness, for me, is not about how many friends I have, but about feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. Is my loneliness a result of my personal circumstances? Is my loneliness a condition of my anxiety? Is my loneliness a side effect of the barriers I've put up to protect myself from being hurt by others?

Having performed a post mortem on my recent vampire encounter I am able to

understand the attraction - he was just as 'disconnected' from the world as me - our common bond, our weakness, our kryptonite. Again I look for answers in my comfort zone - research. It would seem that most people are extremely prone to loneliness during major life transitions. Interesting.

When I write, I choose the topics and issues I wish to scribe. I choose what I want to reveal about myself. There is so much more going on in my life other than 'dating' but I have often chosen this topic as it seems to be the one I am the least knowledgeable in and the most entertaining. For me 'dating' has been a distraction from all the other 'transitions' in my life. 

Once again life as I know it has been turned side-ways. Change - it's neither good nor bad - it's what I choose to see it as; however, it is still change and it still causes an emotional response in me.

I was very naive to assume that my loneliness was a result of not having a man in my life. Once again I have discovered I was wrong. When your 'identity' is removed/ taken without your input or consent it leaves your reeling emotionally. It creates a 'void' of 'not belonging' in the universe. It causes you to feel that 'no one understands you'. It causes loneliness.

It's easy to say 'it is what it is', 'go with it', 'your work does not define who you are', 'look for the positives' - and I agree with everyone; however, I am human - I feel, I care, I hurt - I have emotions and my emotions are real. 

I do feel a bit silly for trying to fill my 'loss' with random men but I have learned from this experience. I am also very glad that I was able to figure out 'why' I was feeling so lonely all of a sudden. The BEST part is that I have realized I am not Lex Luthor - my analysing, scheming and desire to conquer the world is not always evil but can be used for MY greater good!

Peace