Baggage Check Please

Everyone who has had a relationship has emotional baggage. If they say they don't - they are lying. The men that I have encountered through my dating travels have fallen into 2 categories - hoarders or magicians.
*I am certain that women fall into these categories as well, but I have not dated any women...yet. 

The 'magicians' are the ones who make their baggage invisible. They hide their baggage, misplace their baggage or possbily can't even see that they have baggage. Because they are in denial regarding their own baggage they are often quick to blame you for having too much baggage or not handling your baggage properly - like they do - you should make it disapper and pretend that it doesn't even exist.

The 'hoarders' are the ones who not only have their baggage strewn all over the place, everything inside each and every suitcase is all over the place. When talking with these people you need to move carefully because you never know when you are going to trip over their baggage or dumped contents. From my experience the 'hoarders' just want to dump their baggage all over you.

One of the "first date rules" is to NEVER talk about your ex - but like most dating rules - this one always broken. Inevitably I am always asked how long I have been divorced, how many dates I have been on, why my marriage broke down, how do I know I am ready to date. This line of questioning usually signals the end of the date. As I answer the questions honestly - the person in front of me will turn into a 'magician' or a 'hoarder' - and neither has a very positive ending.

So, on my recent date, as the question came out of his mouth I could feel the blood draining from my body. The date was going so well and the beginning of the end was about to commence. I took a deep breath and began my story. He asked a few questions and then he told his story. As we both relayed our experiences to each other, the conversation remained positive and optimistic. Something different was happening.

We both unpacked our baggage, laid out the contents, compared items, analyzed everything and then we both packed it all back up into our respective suitcases and stored them in the garage. Absolutely amazing! I had found a 3rd category. Something I like to call the 'traveller'. As I have mentioned in other posts -what you learn from your experiences is what makes you a better person. I am learning that there people who know how to handle their baggage.

Peace