From Weird to Normal

I always find it difficult to write when I am down. My instinct is to do nothing. To hide from the world and shut down into preservation mode. It is times like this that it is crucial for me to write.

I was watching Spongebob Square Pants. In the episode Squidward was frustrated with Spongebob's weirdness and SpongeBob in an attempt to appease Squidward learns to become "normal". Spongebob's transformation to "normal" is so complete that he forgets how to be Spongebob.

This episode made me think about what I am going through. I am being affected physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and spiritually. Of course I am not acting like my old self - because I am not my old self anymore - and some days I don't even know who I am.

I find that things that were once important no longer matter and things that I never noticed before are now important to me. It is days like today that like Spongebob I wish I could be my "weird" self again. I wish I could be silly, carefree, funny, witty, and in love with life. Right now I feel like I am "normal" going through life but not really living it. I feel numb and incomplete.

Perhaps, like Spongebob, I need Patrick to show me how to be "silly" again.

Peace