Where's My Pony?

Managing expectations. It's never an easy thing to do, but it's even harder when it's your own expectations that you need to manage. It's like the child that asks for a pony from Santa for Christmas. We all know that Santa is not bringing a pony and we try to explain this to the child so they won't be disappointed Christmas morning. Apart from the impossible requests we all know too well that if a child asks Santa for only one gift - if they do not receive that gift even if they get 100 gifts - the response will most likely be 'is that all there is?'

How does one go about managing one's own expectations? A few days ago I logged into my online dating account and updated my profile. I set up my profile almost a year ago when I had no business dating. As I reviewed my profile some things started to make sense. For example I was always shocked that my 'matches' were mirror images of my ex-husband. As I read my profile a light bulb went off. I was attracting men like my ex because I was looking for values he possessed, not values I wanted in a partner.

So long story longer, I updated my profile to reflect what I like, what I want, and what I value. Low and behold yesterday someone sent me a communication. I was so excited - wow! A real man had sent me a message...but then the doubt started to creep in. Was he really interested in chatting with me or was he just 'fishing'?

'Fishing', I learned very quickly, is what a lot of men and some women do for fun. They send out "messages" to the masses and then they look at all the replies that they get and "pick" the ones that look like the "most" fun. It's a mean and heartless 'mind game' that is very destructive and hurtful but nevertheless it is a real fact of online dating.

So here I sit wondering if I should take the risk of replying to this man. I ponder the word 'should'. It is such a harsh word, so I rephrase the sentance. I could take the risk or I could do nothing. If I don't take the risk will I be living my future or remaining in the past? So I chose to welcome love into my heart and into my life - I replied "I would love to chat with you".

Peace