Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers

Along the lines of my “Do You Buy Organic?” post why is it so hard to treat ourselves right? Why do we feel like we ‘don’t deserve’ something? Or why do we put other’s needs before our own?

I was shopping last night for our vacation. I thought to myself that I should buy a note pad. Yes, I know, I am writing a Blog so I should be using a computer. You are correct; however, my mind has a mind of its own. Thoughts and ideas don’t come to me at the computer they pop into my head in the shower, in the car, cleaning the cat litter, pretty much everywhere BUT the computer. Seeing as the vacation involves renting a cottage I figured a note pad was a better idea.

My New Note Pad

Off I go to the stationary aisle. I started looking at the note pads. There was a really nice one I liked, but it was $9.96. I couldn’t justify that price. A less expensive one at $4.26 caught my eye. I snatched it up and put it in my buggy. Then I placed it back on the shelf. What was I thinking paying $4.26 when I could go to the Dollar Store and buy one for $1.25? But this one had a cardboard which would make it easier to write in at the beach...but with the other one I would save $3! It was only paper after all.

As I stood in the aisle arguing with myself I started to wonder WHY I felt I wasn’t worth the extra $3? If the marginally more expensive note pad made me happier why couldn’t I buy it? Why did I feel that I DESERVED the “cheaper” version?

My whole life I have felt under appreciated. Is this because I have always subconsciously under appreciated myself? WOW what an epiphany! Perhaps people disrespect me because I let them by subconsciously believing that I don't deserve any better. I have always known that I have low self-esteem, and this was now starting to make sense to me. I NEVER stand up for myself and I always put others first. Perhaps I needed to challenge myself yet again...I need to put ME first!

And I did just that. I bought the $4.26 note pad because I deserve it! When I got to the car the first thing I did was to open the note pad and I penned this post.

Peace