When Did Coffee Become Something Other Than Coffee?

Originally posted July 8, 2011 on Facebook.

The last time I dated anyone I was 16 years old, you know like 5 years ago! Now I find myself single and learning how to date. HA! That is a joke. No seriously – it’s freaking hilarious. How does one go about meeting someone else in this day and age? It’s been over 25 years since I dated and I NEVER dated as an adult. Between work, the kids, the house and all the activities there is no time to meet anyone – so I did what all the commercials on tv told me to do – I started online dating.

I have heard a few successful online dating stories but they are few and far between. The flip side to that is most people tell me that “they are only looking for sex or they are married”. To be honest – I have been hard pressed to find either. The people I have met online seem to want to stay online. As soon as I say that I want to meet for coffee they suddenly get cold feet and stop chatting with me. The really brave ones suck it up and meet with me – only to never be heard from again.

The one thing that I notice about most of the men that I have met online is that they are all looking for the same thing – that ‘spark’, ‘chemistry’, or a ‘connection’. As they chat a little more I start to learn that they left their spouse because there was no spark/chemistry/connection. And as they chat even more I realize that they are not ‘over’ their ex. They have tried to move on to quickly, missing the important lesson that the spark/chemistry/connection is fleeting – that ‘friendship/companionship/comfort’ is the key to a lasting relationship.

Once in a while I start chatting with someone who wants to meet for “coffee”. Until I met with this one young fellow (he was 30) I had no idea that coffee had become COFFEE! Imagine my surprise – in my day it was a ‘bootie call’. At least he was up front and honest about it. He left me his number in case I ever changed my mind...I never called it, but I still haven’t thrown it out either.

Again as part of my healing, grieving and forgiving I have removed myself from all online dating sites. I am taking time to find me, to focus on me and to enjoy me. I know that I have attracted a responsible, honest, and loving partner, I just haven’t met him yet...or maybe I have...

Peace